By Anonymous
I’m here to share my story of heavy bleeding and surgical menopause. In my 40s (I’m now 58), when people started talking more and more about menopause, I realized I was not following the ‘norm’ if there is one. I was not in the 80+% of women who were starting to have hot flushes and irregular periods. If fact, I was the opposite, bleeding more and more. I had always had regular periods every 28 days and now the bleeding was coming every two to three weeks.
My mum had breast cancer in her late thirties and went into early menopause after having chemotherapy, so I had no reference for how my menopause might be. Her story is for another article! After two mastectomies, she developed an ovarian tumor and died at 58 years old, my age now. When she died, I was 30 and have been lucky enough to have had 6 monthly breast and ovary checks since then. I also undertook genetic testing to find out if I had the BRCA cancer gene, which I don’t. I was told that my mother probably had that gene or another gene mutation. Removing my ovaries was always an option for me to ensure that I didn’t get ovarian cancer.
During my 40s, I had quite a stressful life, full-time job in a large and hectic workplace where I was managing a large department. After work, I was caring for my two sons, with my husband often traveling for work. I had little, if any time for myself, like many people. The constant bleeding, with huge blood clots and then flooding, made my life very difficult.
I was living in mainland Europe and had good healthcare with 6-monthly medical appointments. I was quickly scanned and diagnosed as having Adenomyosis with several small fibroids. I was treated with the Mirena coil which worked for about two years. This is a contraceptive progesterone coil which emits progesterone and stops the lining of the uterus from building up and causing the heavy bleeding.
I was told that the coil works for 80% of people. I wasn’t in that 80%. The heavy bleeding caused the coil to move, and it had to be removed as it was no longer a solution for me. After the coil, I was given the progesterone only pill (no estrogen is advised when you have a family history of breast cancer) but that only worked for a short time. I was also offered a full hysterectomy which would have been through incision (opening my cesarean scar). It would have had to be done like this because my uterus was so large. I felt that this operation was too much and continued to try to cope with the bleeding.
However, I wasn’t coping with this situation. For 2-3 days every 3-4 weeks I bled constantly. My bed was often soaked with blood in the morning, and I lost count of the number of times that I bled through my clothes and onto furniture. It was awful. I was taking more and more sick days from work. When I did go into work, I would wear several sanitary pads and incontinence pants on top as I was unable to go to the toilet every 20 minutes to change the pads.
Initially, I told my employer that I had a bug or the flu and didn’t tell anyone what was going on. Then I decided to tell them the truth, that I was bleeding heavily from the vagina. I used its correct name ‘menorrhagia’. I thought they should be aware of my condition, and I didn’t feel comfortable lying all the time. At one medical appointment I asked, ‘‘Is there nothing I can take to slow the bleeding?” I was prescribed Tranexamic acid. This actually works! It seems to be a cheap drug, which is hardly ever prescribed to menstruating women and seemingly has no side effects. I couldn’t understand why it had never been offered it before.
My job and home life was quite stressful, and now looking back, this stress was not helping the situation. The times that I flooded were after stressful periods at work or traveling. I would take the Tranexamic acid for several days which made the bleeding manageable and then after 4-5 days of bleeding, when I stopped taking the tablets, the blood would coming flooding out. I was hardly sleeping due to stress (perimenopause) and was very anemic from all the blood loss. There didn’t seem to be much information out there for me about what I was experiencing.
After explaining to people at work and being open about what I was going through, I found out that a couple of other colleagues had had hysterectomies. They told me how they had got their lives back after the operation. So, when I was offered the option of a brand-new technique of hysterectomy with no incision at a leading hospital in Belgium, I decided to do it.
The decision was made quickly to remove everything, ovaries, fallopian tubes and cervix via the vagina. Cancer couldn’t get me there. At this point I should have been told what to expect from removing my ovaries. Before the operation I was told, we will give you a little HRT to get you through. However, after the operation I was asked, “Do you have hot flashes?” When my answer was “No”, the reply was “Well you don’t need HRT.” I was given no information about menopause.
At first my body was fine. I followed all instructions to rest for 2 months. But after around 10 months to one year, it hit me. Driving home from work on my usual route (on a dual carriageway), that I had made every day for 12 years, I started to panic! I literally felt like the car was out of control and I hit the brakes. Very dangerous with cars and trucks driving at 120km per hour! I stopped driving on this route for about 2 years.
I knew the surgical menopause was to blame but everything I read about menopause said that it involved hot flushes. I didn’t have any! However, I had literally lost all confidence in myself. The symptoms that I experienced and still do to an extent were: high levels of anxiety, insomnia, tiredness, lethargy, weight gain, uncontrollable crying especially in the morning and muscle aches. (Still no hot sweats.)
The actions I tried were GP visits where I was given natural tablets for mood and eventually anti-depressants; natural sleeping tablets and then strong ones; a psychologist who made me realize that before the anxiety in the car came, my feeling was – “I am going to die.” There was no way I could get back onto that road, as the panicky feeling could have caused a major accident. I also tried yoga with a teacher who tried to calm me. What I found from talking to friends was that most people were experiencing issues, and the symptoms were very varied. Many women also had lost their confidence in driving.
What I now know was that I needed to calm myself, feed myself well and to keep moving. Instead, I was on a downward spiral, exhaustion and feeling low leading to comfort eating and alcohol. The weight gain made me feel even worse and the food/ alcohol was not helping my insomnia. I was fully wired, not able to relax and to heal myself.
My advice for you is if you are going to go down the hysterectomy route due to bleeding, is that it is a life saver, but be prepared. Get a second opinion and ensure that you are ready for the effect it may have on your body and mind. It is my belief that the healthier you are, the fewer symptoms you will have. Removing the womb but leaving the ovaries still leads to menopause, even if not so sudden.
Talk to as many people as you can and join support groups. Be aware that most people who write on support groups are the people who have the worst experiences. Try to stay positive and make a goal plan of how you want to be.
Now that I’m an empty-nester and working part-time, it’s time for finding my old self. I still feel anxious but try to push through it. Thank goodness we now have more places and people bringing us the valuable information and advice that we need.
Find more advice and support for surgical menopause at The Surmeno Connection.
Last Updated on August 7, 2025 by Editorial Staff
