How To Get The Best Orgasm In Midlife And Beyond!

By Renée

Renée from Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium, tells us how to get the best orgasm

The media has us believe that women can enjoy orgasms at the drop of a hat, by eating a certain type of yogurt (we’re sure you’ve seen the adverts) or by a gentle three-second swish of fingers. If you’ve read 50 Shades of Grey, you’ll know that Anastasia Steele managed an inner meringue the first time she had sex with Christian Grey.

In reality, it’s not so simple. Many women (most, even) will know what it’s like to NOT have an orgasm, or almost having one but being pipped to the post by an over-excited partner who then rolls over and falls into a deep slumber, satisfied that a good time was had by all.

Women’s orgasms are complex, and they involve the whole woman – body and mind. If the body doesn’t feel aroused, or if the mind is worried about a leaky tap, there will be no fireworks… For women, having an orgasm is a learned thing. It takes practice.

The team at Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium, in London’s trendy Hoxton Square, have spent the past 23 years talking about sex and orgasms with female customers (even teaching classes on the subject). In lieu of this, the friendly staff knows a thing or two when it comes to having fun sex and damp orgasms!

First of all, a great enhancing product can make a huge difference. For peri-, post- or just plain menopausal women, it can be difficult to bring back the exciting sexual desires of yesteryear. It feels like something is lacking. For this, we love ON Arousal Oil (recently featured in Fabulous magazine); a blend of essential oils that you rub into the clitoris and the surrounding tissue. The ON Arousal Oil helps increase blood flow to the area, making the clitoris and vulva feel juicy, plump and warm.

Next, a bottle of lubricant is essential. If you only ever buy one thing from an adult store, it should be a good bottle of lube. We recommend water-based ones as they are body-friendly and compatible with condoms and toys. Our new formula Sh! Pure Lube is paraben-free and has no flavour, and it’s so slick you’d be forgiven for thinking it feels like natural vaginal wetness.

As we get older, so do our vaginas. The membranes become thinner and you may find sex rather dry and painful. Lubricant can take care of this; adding it to fingers, toys or penises makes everything much more comfortable. Lube is sexy!

Finally, a great vibrator can make a huge difference. Millions of women have experienced their first orgasm with the help of a trusted vibe. At Sh!, we stock vibrators and dildos in all manner of shapes and sizes, from small finger vibes to the girthier rabbit style vibrators. If you are new to sex toys, we recommend starting off small. Something like our Sh! Easy Egg is a great starter vibe. It’s easy to use, it’s very quiet and it has different settings so you’ll have plenty to experiment with.

(Mutton Club note: this particular vibe is an MC favourite and we can confirm it is a lovely little mover – for starters and beyond – try all the settings – great for solo and couple play!)

G-spot vibrators are very popular, too. The G-spot is located half a fingers’ length up on the inside front wall of your vagina. Slip in a lubed-up finger and you’ll feel a ridged area: this is the G-spot! The G-spot responds to firm pressure and rhythmic motions, which can be really tiring to do by hand. This is where a sex toy like our Sh! Curved G-Spot Vibrator can be a great help. The longer shaft makes it easy to manoeuvre and the sizzling vibrations add an extra layer of pleasure.

Rabbit vibrators are the best-selling sex toys of all time – at Sh!, they were popular long before THAT episode on Sex & The City. The older styles may resemble sweetie machines, but these days, there are newer, sleeker versions that are waterproof, rechargeable and durable. Take Swedish sex toy designers Lelo for example, they offer a 10 year guarantee on their vibrators – it’s like purchasing a new washing machine or a hoover!

If you’re not keen on the idea of a vibrator, we have lots of other great toys too. We recommend Love Balls to women of all ages, but especially for anyone over the age of 30 as this is when the vaginal muscles will start to loose their tightness. Love Balls are a set of weighted spheres that you insert into the vagina before doing your kegel squeezes. They help build up your muscle control, and you’ll find that your orgasms become both longer and stronger with regular use. Plus, as your muscles get stronger, you won’t have to worry about pesky leakage if you sneeze unexpectedly…

Renée is the award winning Store Manager (Best Store Manager ETO Awards 2014 & 2015) at Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium. She has her fingers in many pies and spends her days talking about G-spots, P-spots and any other spots you may have found in your nether regions. When she is not selling sex toys to the women & couples of London, she can be found at home with a thrilling book and a glass of pink wine, surrounded by her beloved bunnies (of the furry variety). She writes a regular column for Erotic Trade Only magazine and dreams of penning a bestselling sex guide one day.