How To Start Living It Up After Divorce

By Charlie Fletcher

Every stage of the divorce process is stressful. From the initial decision to legal proceedings, you’re likely to go through a lot of emotional, mental, and physical stress.

However, a divorce needn’t be all doom and gloom. After all, you’re making this change to improve your life and set yourself free from a relationship that is no longer working.

Whether it’s a vacation, a move, or a lifestyle change, living it up a little after divorce sustains your mental well-being and helps you see life’s silver linings.

Socializing and Parties

If you’ve been married for most of your adult life, you probably haven’t thrown a real party for a while. But a midlife divorce can be exactly the push you need to start living it up and enjoying your social life again.

Throwing a party after a divorce is particularly fun as you probably have more resources and space now than you did during your college years — or whenever you last threw a party! Outdoor parties are particularly popular at the moment, as they’re great for your mental health and let people relax while COVID-19 is still about.

As a recent divorcee, you should also give yourself permission to go out and enjoy yourself at clubs and bars — if that’s something that interests you. There’s nothing wrong with getting together with friends and partying hard after divorce. It might take a little more to recover the next day, but you shouldn’t feel guilty if you want to live it up as you did before marriage.

Vacationing

When you’re married, you have to work around the commitments and interests of your significant other. This means you’ve probably sacrificed your wishes more than a few times, as their work schedule or lack of enthusiasm may have dampened holiday plans.

After divorce, you can do all the traveling and vacationing that you want. You’ll also find that traveling solo feels much more adventurous than traveling with friends or family.

If traveling solo sounds exciting, you can take advantage of helpful tips for solo travelers. In particular, ensure that you choose your destination carefully and plan out your accommodations well ahead of time. Knowing that you have a safe place to stay will give you the freedom to explore while on vacation. You can save some money by traveling out of season, as most tourist spots still cater to travelers during the rainy season. You may even have a better time traveling during off-peak times, as more attention can be afforded to you when there are fewer tourists around.

Self-Care Days

Partying and traveling are fun. But not every day will be filled with adventure and socializing. Some post-divorce days will simply suck and leave you in a funk. If this sounds familiar, it’s worth investing in some self-care that can help you unpack your emotions and deal with memories and experiences.

It may be worth getting in touch with a licensed therapist before you go on spa days or book a massage. You can find great therapists through resources like BetterHelp and TalkSpace. These services typically work remotely — meaning you can get in touch with a therapist who suits your schedule and personality.

Therapy can play a meaningful role in ensuring that you have a good divorce. However, it’s not the only self-care option available to you. Spa days and gentle massages are great for alleviating the physical manifestations of stress in your body and can even help calm your mind.

You can also practice self-care after a divorce in conjunction with the help of a therapist. Take a break from your normal routine and make time for activities you love, like gardening or gentle yoga. If you’re struggling with your emotions, try to write some of them down in a journal format. Go easy on alcohol for a while and try to eat a balanced diet with plenty of water, as this will help you avoid some of the post-divorce blues.

Listen to Tonya Carter talking about how to thrive after divorce on the Magnificent Midlife podcast

Activities You’ve Put Off

You may not realize it, but maintaining a relationship takes up a lot of your free time. Even small jobs, like cooking a meal for two, take up hours of your free time every week and swallow up the evenings you would have spent on activities that you actually enjoy.

You can get more from your free time and live it up after divorce by using your newfound leisure time to do all the activities you’ve put off. Even big lifestyle changes, like joining a CrossFit club or a local art group, are possible after divorce.

If you don’t quite know what to do with your free time after a divorce, try activities that promote self-discovery and socialization. Local writing groups and book clubs are a great way to meet new people and encounter new ideas. They can also help you work through ideas or memories that have been troubling you, as you’ll benefit from the greater social support they offer.

Going through a divorce can be stressful and drain your energy. So, give yourself permission to live it up when you finally finish up the legal proceedings. This can be as simple as throwing a house party for your close friends, or you may choose to undergo an entire revamp of your social life by joining a sports team or traveling solo. Whatever you choose, go forward bravely into your new, positive life after divorce.

Charlie Fletcher is a freelance writer from the lovely “city of trees”- Boise, Idaho. Her love of writing pairs with her passion for social activism and search for the truth. When not writing, she is a part-time wedding planner and spends time with her nephews.