By Pamela Sommers
It’s easy to be encouraging of others in your life, especially if there are young people around you who are just starting out. As women, we have a tendency to put others first and focus on what others need, as opposed to putting ourselves first.
If you are a mother, this is even more likely to be the case. You may stay in the background and put your children and spouse before you, albeit with a gentle hand and a great big cheer.
We may have learnt this behaviour from our generation of mothers or other female influencers in our life. Perhaps, it may even be the media who encourage this.
I remember when I was young and I used to enjoy watching, ‘Little House on the Prairie.’ The mother of Laura Ingles and her siblings used to have a gentle nature, she was also caring and very much a peace-maker. She was calm and always played a ‘support’ role to her husband. Historically this was a given for most women. They were seen as subordinates.
But you know there is nothing wrong in supporting others and having your own ambition or dream. Whether you are an extrovert or an introvert, it makes no difference. Everyone is equally as important. There is no right or wrong and no judgement should be made either from yourself or others.
I have noticed women in particular are very hard on themselves, perhaps this is why they tend to worry about what others think of them more than men do. They worry about how it would look, how their close family will feel.
In fact they sometimes spend so much time worrying or procrastinating that it deters them from doing the one thing, which is needed to make things happen. They forget to take action.
Yes, it’s good to daydream and visualise. But dreaming alone won’t turn things into reality, unless it is combined with a little planning and a whole lot of action. Having said that you can’t just take action now and again and wonder why nothing is moving in the direction you hope for.
Consistent action is the key to success of any kind. It is the difference between your goal remaining as a distant dream or becoming a reality.
A positive mindset plays an important part because depending on how motivated you are and your general self-esteem, these factors will determine if you are truly ready.
For instance, if you believe you are too old to start over and achieve anything in life, that will keep you stuck. Many, many people have achieved success in their mid-forties and above.
For instance, I didn’t start a business until I was in my early forties following a gardening accident, which caused limited use to my right hand. Yes, I was devastated and felt like I couldn’t go on at the time, but I took one day at a time and didn’t let that deter me. Through hard work and persistency, I kept going.
As predicted, it was a steep learning curve but as I always say, ‘everything can be learnt.’ The beauty of the internet is that knowledge is at our fingertips. Fortunately, I now have an award-winning business called SommerSparkle, providing jewellery and accessories for special occasions.
To my surprise, it didn’t stop there; I wrote and published my first book called ‘Life Lessons from a 40 something…’ to help empower and motivate people to go for their dreams, regardless of their current situation.
It was my mindset that kept me going. Here’s how to work on achieving your dream:
To start off imagine yourself achieving your goal. Another term for this is visualisation. Many athletes and other successful people use this method regularly. To sum it up, you basically imagine what you are seeing, how you are feeling and all the tiny details as you daydream.
If you do this regularly, even every day for ten minutes you will soon start to notice a difference in the way you act and feel. You see, you need to believe it is possible to achieve your dream before you even begin the next steps.
The next step is what puts your thoughts into something more concrete. I’m quite traditional and prefer to write with pen and a notepad, but if you prefer, type. It’s a good idea to research what is required of you and then break these down into smaller steps. That way, it is more manageable and won’t feel so daunting, when you go to do the tasks.
Related: How To Find Meaning In Midlife – Following Your Calling
Then write what you aim to do on a planner, calendar. Don’t overwhelm yourself, work around your schedule. The mere fact that you are allocating a time slot to get your task done, will help you feel good in itself. For instance, you may want to set aside 30 minutes for one task and an hour for another, you’ll soon find out what works best for you.
Now you have planned, work through the list methodically and cross it off before moving on to the next task. Consistency is the key here. I often feel a sense of accomplishment after I cross something off. Try it and see.
Be kind to yourself
If you don’t get to finish something, return to it another time. Don’t feel bad, be kind to yourself. It is better to be flexible. Life is like that.
When you have followed these steps and are doing them on a regular basis, you will soon start feeling the momentum and move forward. Enjoy the process. You’ve got this!
You will soon start seeing results and when you do, remember to celebrate and enjoy this feeling. You deserve it.
No matter what age you are or how old you feel, these are all just numbers. You are here for a reason and have a unique gift to share. Share it freely, for the world to see, you never know who it may help along the way.
It’s never too late to achieve.
You’ve Got This Beautiful!
You may also like Helping Women Build Self Confidence – Nanette Irvine and Building Confidence Through Changing Limiting Behaviours
Last Updated on February 1, 2023 by Editorial Staff